Lately, I’ve found myself in this strange financial state: I’ve never been this stressed about money, but I’ve also never been this stress-free. Both statements are true, and it’s been a journey to understand why. If you’ve ever felt the same, maybe my story will resonate with you.
Living Paycheck to Paycheck, Sort Of
Right now, most of my paycheck goes straight into my housing EMI. After that, what’s left gets split between two things: traveling and spending time with my partner. I’m not upset about this—far from it. After being single for a while, it feels great to invest in experiences and a relationship that brings me happiness.
But here’s the trade-off: I’m not able to invest as aggressively in equity as I used to. A year ago, I was putting ₹1 lakh a month into mutual funds. Now, I’m down to ₹20,000. It’s a significant drop, and sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I’m falling behind on my long-term goals.
A Safety Net I Don’t Want to Touch
The funny thing is, I do have savings—a solid 15 months’ worth of expenses. If I lost my job tomorrow, I could cover my bills for over a year without breaking a sweat.
But here’s the catch: I see this fund as untouchable. It’s my retirement cushion, my ultimate safety net. Even the thought of dipping into it feels wrong. That said, having it gives me a deep sense of freedom. I know I’m not living on the edge, even if I don’t have a ton of wiggle room in my monthly budget.
The Urgency of Time
One of the reasons I feel the need to invest more is that I don’t see myself sticking to my current career forever. I’ve given myself until 40, and that milestone isn’t as far away as it used to be. There’s an urgency now—to build enough financial independence so that when I do pivot, I’m not scrambling to make ends meet.
This urgency sometimes collides with my present priorities. Should I cut back on travel and time with my partner to invest more? Should I prepay my EMIs instead? These questions circle in my head, but for now, I’ve chosen to prioritize what brings me joy.
Balancing Enjoyment and Goals
Here’s where I’ve landed: I’m okay with how I’m spending my money right now. The travels and relationship expenses? I see them as investments in my happiness. At the same time, I’ve made peace with the fact that I can’t pour as much into equity as I’d like. It’s a phase, and it won’t last forever.
That said, I’ve started thinking about small ways to realign my finances without sacrificing the things I love:
• Increasing my mutual fund contributions slowly—maybe ₹10k more every few months.
• Exploring cost-effective ways to travel and celebrate milestones with my partner.
• Splitting extra cash between equity investments and prepaying my housing EMI.
These are small steps, but they make me feel like I’m moving forward.
Feeling Both Stressed and Stress-Free
So why do I feel both stressed and stress-free about money? It’s because I’m juggling two realities:
• On one hand, I feel secure. My bills are paid, I’m enjoying life, and I have a safety net.
• On the other hand, I feel the pressure of time—the need to prepare for a future where I might want more freedom than I have now.
If you’ve ever felt this push and pull, you’re not alone. It’s a balancing act, and it’s okay to feel both emotions at once.
What I’ve Learned
For me, this journey has been less about finding the perfect balance and more about being intentional with my choices. I’ve learned to let go of the guilt about not investing as much right now, knowing I’m prioritizing things that matter to me in this moment. At the same time, I’m staying mindful of my long-term goals, taking small steps to get closer to them.
It’s not perfect, but it’s working for now. And honestly, that’s enough.
If you’ve felt this same tension, I’d love to hear how you’re navigating it. How do you balance enjoying life today while planning for the future? Let’s trade notes—I’m still figuring it out, too.